It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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