How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
