Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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