The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
