My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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