he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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