At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
