Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
