Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
