Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
