I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
