i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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