My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
