i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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