ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
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I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
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