During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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