Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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