i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
How's work?
Spinning.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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