just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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