I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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