he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
