I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
