some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
