Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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