Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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