i think i have herpe
just one?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
