Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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