3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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