Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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