Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Welp...herpes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
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In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
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After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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