don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
