i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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