halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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