the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
