don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
