Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
