real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize