Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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