I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Drunk is a universal language darling
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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