On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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