So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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