i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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