remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
