I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize