he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
