Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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