how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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