sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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