1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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