Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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