When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
