it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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