I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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