In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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