but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
and you fell through a lawn chair
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
