He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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