but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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