Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
