I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Floor bacon is actually really good
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
