yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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