omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
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I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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