You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
