I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
