Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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