The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No subtext here. People are naked.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
